last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just googled if crying burns calories
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
