so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
