Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
