Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize