I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
