is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
why is half of my head shaved?
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