I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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