Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
