Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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