I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
