Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
