yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
