Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
