dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
