When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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