god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
