Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
In America we eat man semen.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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