Swine flu. Run for my life!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
