my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
