Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
