Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
