tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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