OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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