So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
