one might say we're banned from that church
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
