Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize