One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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