I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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