youre lurking in front of me
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
