Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
