I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
