She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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