I must be too annoying 4 u.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You made out with two different species that night
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
