u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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