Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
