tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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