I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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