at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
