Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
