Jerry, you need to find god
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
