Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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