dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Ladies don't puke and tell
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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