Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
