I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
