Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
