how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
