I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i want to swaddle you in tequila
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
