Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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