But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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