You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
