Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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