At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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