do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
