So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
But theres a keg here and me gusta
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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