but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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