so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
