Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
