I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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