Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
